Condolence messages: examples and advice for expressing your support

Finding the right words after the death of a loved one is never easy. A condolence message, even a brief one, offers real comfort to a grieving family. This page offers guidance and examples to help you word your sincere condolences, whatever your relationship to the deceased or the family. If you also need to publish a death notice, we have dedicated a page to that step.

How to write a condolence message?

The basic rules : sincerity, simplicity, empathy

A good condolence message doesn't need to be long or elaborate. A few simple principles are enough: stay sincere rather than searching for the perfect phrase, express your presence and support rather than minimising the loss, and adapt the tone to your relationship with the deceased or the family (more formal for a colleague, more personal for someone close). A short but sincere sentence is always worth more than a long, impersonal text.

What to avoid

Some phrases, however well-intentioned, can unintentionally hurt: minimising the pain (“they had a good life”, “time heals all wounds”), comparing it to your own experience of grief, or asking about the circumstances of the death.

It is better to use simple words that acknowledge the family's loss and pain, without trying to explain or downplay it.

Examples of condolence messages

Short and simple condolence message

My sincere condolences. I am thinking of you at this difficult time.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

I was saddened to learn of [first name]'s passing. My thoughts are with you.

Condolence message for a friend

I just heard the sad news and wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you. [First name] will stay in our memories, and I'm here if you want to talk or just need some company.

All my friendship and support at this difficult time. Don't hesitate to turn to me, whatever you're going through.

Condolence message for a colleague

The whole team joins me in sending our sincere condolences. We are with you and your family in this difficult time.

We were saddened to learn of the death of your [relationship]. On behalf of the whole team and myself, please accept our deepest condolences.

Condolence message for close family

It is with deep sadness that we learned of [first name]'s passing. We share your grief and send the whole family our deepest affection.

Our most sincere thoughts are with you at this painful time. [First name] will remain in our hearts.

Touching condolences, more personal wording

[First name] will leave a huge gap, but also wonderful memories that we will treasure. Thank you for everything they gave us.

Some people mark an entire lifetime. [First name] was one of them. We send you all our support through this ordeal.

Thank-You cards after a death

When and how to say thank you after receiving condolences

After the funeral, it is customary (though never obligatory) to send a thank-you card to those who expressed their condolences, sent flowers or attended the service. There is no strict deadline: anywhere from a few weeks to a few months after the death is entirely acceptable, giving the family time to feel ready. A simple, sincere card is enough; a printed text can be personalised with a few handwritten words for close relatives.

Examples of thank you wording

The family of [name] sincerely thanks you for your support and kindness during this difficult time.

Deeply touched by your many messages of sympathy, we warmly thank you for your presence and support.

FAQ: Frequently asked questions about condolence messages

How else can you say “Sincere condolences”?

The wording can vary depending on the context: “my thoughts are with you”, “I am with you in spirit”, “I share your grief”, or “please accept my deepest support for you and your family”. What matters most is the sincerity of the words rather than the exact phrase chosen.

Should you send a card or a message?

Both are appropriate: a message (text, email) works well for a quick response, especially if you are not very close to the family, while a handwritten card or flowers carry more personal weight and are often preferred for close family or alongside attending the funeral.

How long after the death can you send your condolences?

There is no fixed deadline: condolences can be expressed before, during or after the funeral. Ideally, a message is sent as soon as you hear the news, but it is never too late to express your support, even several weeks after the death.

Whether you're looking for a short or a more personal message, what matters most is the sincerity of your support. Pompes Funèbres Calmes also helps with organising the funeral and offers a stationery service for cards: feel free to contact us to find out more.